The Pain of –

It’s always painful

being perfect

not being perfect

acting like perfect

faking perfect

dreaming

thinking

It’s always painful

 

Why

i ask

and

Ana and Mia reply

why not

being normal or staying the same is boring

and bad

only lazy people aren’t perfect

Always seize perfection

 

but what if I’m not

They reply

then you can be perfect

become perfect

fake it

not until you make it

but until you become it

remember?

 

But i’m just close

only close

 

Boys say i’m cute

girls say i’m sweet

boss says i’m committed

parents say i’m mature

and different

sometimes perfect

but i’m not perfect

 

Four years after overcoming anorexia, I can still predict my anorexic past